Peer-to-Peer
When you’re concerned about a friend, knowing what to say and how to say it can be overwhelming. It’s important to support your friend instead of hoping the problem will go away.
CONVERSATION GOALS
Ensure the person is physically and mentally safe.
Show the person you care about them.
Strengthen the relationship you have with them.
road blocks
Fear of losing them as a friend
Not knowing how to have tough conversations
Questioning whether you should get involved
Being concerned that you’ll say the wrong thing
FEELING UNEASY
what are tough topics
Substance use, destructive relationships, self-harm, skipping school, eating disorders, and anything that could harm their or someone else’s health and safety.
Have a P.L.A.N.
Plan what to say
Decide when and where you will talk, use “I” statements, and stick to the formula.
Listen
Give full attention and eye contact, and summarize what they say.
Assertive
Avoid being passive or aggressive and be clear about your concerns.
Never play counselor
Know your limits and ask for help when needed.
Know the Formula
Care: Remind them that you care.
“I care about our friendship, and I need to talk to you about something I’m concerned about.”
What: Describe what your concerns are.
“Several things have happened lately (1-2 examples).”
How: Explain how these concerns impact your friendship.
“These things I’m concerned about have affected our friendship.”
Need: Tell them your needs and ask that they seek help or talk to a trusted adult.
“I think you should talk to a trusted adult about these concerns and I will even go with you.”